While a navy brat, my family moved approximately every 4-6 years. I constantly was forced to make new friends, reinvent myself, and rely on my family and myself for support. It was natural, but also in a way, stifling. I find friendships on the surface, but don't have any deep relationships with people that I can truly confide in. Family is where can speak my mind, and be accepted without dissent. My mom would listen to me vent, cry, brag, and not give her opinion. She would just listen.
As I get older, I have noticed that my personal development is quite different than others. What I considered 'normal' in family structures, responsibilities, celebrations, and the like is actually on the fringes of society. So I suppose that means that I am also on the fringe. And as a teacher, that is becoming truly difficult to navigate, coach, and mentor young people. I don't listen the way I should.
I am in a career where I do make a difference. To a lot of people. But it's also exhausting to attempt to mentor an adolescent age group, when they are constantly pushing back. It's also frustrating when their parents push back. And when your own family pushes back. And you feel like no one is supporting you as you fall.
And I feel like I am falling a lot. But putting on a good front. I hope I can keep it all together. And continue to be a good mother, good teacher, good partner, good friend. Even if I suck at housework and financial management (though I'm working on it). But keeping it all together is exhausting.
I am thankful that I have a mom who can listen to my vents. But I also don't always want to burden her with my mistakes. I want her to be proud of me. Of the mom I have become, and I hope I can be half the mom she is!
Happy Mother's Day!
As I get older, I have noticed that my personal development is quite different than others. What I considered 'normal' in family structures, responsibilities, celebrations, and the like is actually on the fringes of society. So I suppose that means that I am also on the fringe. And as a teacher, that is becoming truly difficult to navigate, coach, and mentor young people. I don't listen the way I should.
I am in a career where I do make a difference. To a lot of people. But it's also exhausting to attempt to mentor an adolescent age group, when they are constantly pushing back. It's also frustrating when their parents push back. And when your own family pushes back. And you feel like no one is supporting you as you fall.
And I feel like I am falling a lot. But putting on a good front. I hope I can keep it all together. And continue to be a good mother, good teacher, good partner, good friend. Even if I suck at housework and financial management (though I'm working on it). But keeping it all together is exhausting.
I am thankful that I have a mom who can listen to my vents. But I also don't always want to burden her with my mistakes. I want her to be proud of me. Of the mom I have become, and I hope I can be half the mom she is!
Happy Mother's Day!
