Frustrations and Supports

While a navy brat, my family moved approximately every 4-6 years.  I constantly was forced to make new friends, reinvent myself, and rely on my family and myself for support.  It was natural, but also in a way, stifling.  I find friendships on the surface, but don't have any deep relationships with people that I can truly confide in.  Family is where can speak my mind, and be accepted without dissent.  My mom would listen to me vent, cry, brag, and not give her opinion.  She would just listen.

As I get older, I have noticed that my personal development is quite different than others.  What I considered 'normal' in family structures, responsibilities, celebrations, and the like is actually on the fringes of society.  So I suppose that means that I am also on the fringe.  And as a teacher, that is becoming truly difficult to navigate, coach, and mentor young people.  I don't listen the way I should.

I am in a career where I do make a difference.  To a lot of people.  But it's also exhausting to attempt to mentor an adolescent age group, when they are constantly pushing back.  It's also frustrating when their parents push back.  And when your own family pushes back.  And you feel like no one is supporting you as you fall.

And I feel like I am falling a lot.  But putting on a good front.  I hope I can keep it all together.  And continue to be a good mother, good teacher, good partner, good friend.  Even if I suck at housework and financial management (though I'm working on it).  But keeping it all together is exhausting.

I am thankful that I have a mom who can listen to my vents.  But I also don't always want to burden her with my mistakes.  I want her to be proud of me.  Of the mom I have become, and I hope I can be half the mom she is!

Happy Mother's Day!

Cross Pollinating

Of course, sometimes my worlds collide and I find that my personal comments make their way into the public domain.  This is the case with my other blog, Stefani's Hopeful Chaos, where I try to reign in the swarming chaos that is my life.

Check out the Top 5 things I'll do for my garden next year... and hold me to it!

Fall Check-In: My To-Do List 2.0

In the blog-o-sphere, there are some things that I want to be anonymous and others where a swift kick in the hiney is needed for accountability.  Looks like this is the latter.

Originally, I posted a February Vacation-week to-do list.  I needed a jump start, a reboot, a refresher on my life.  I figured, I could make a to-do list, get some things done, and feel accomplished, especially since I wasn't going anywhere for the vacation other than some local trips with the kids.  I posted it, revisited it after the week was over... and it flew off into internet space...

Well, time has passed, and some of these original items are still pending... so it looks like I'll tackle the To-Do List 2.0

1) Credit cards will be paid off monthly. Yipes - still the #1 on the list.  I really want to get on the envelope system before 2013 is done... Dave Ramsey's Envelope System is something that I have wanted to do for years, but have never quite gotten around to it... There has to be a way of doing it as well as online banking... I just need to figure out how!

2) Finish the Fireplace Mantle and Stairwell.  Got the stairwell painted the last week of June, but have yet to put on the railing, fix the last three stairs, or finish the fireplace surround.  Would like to get all that done before the holidays.  Might have to bite the bullet and hire someone...

3) Train my kids to clean up after themselves. Still.a.work.in.progress...for ALL the kids.

4) Extend this new mantra to my classroom. New school year, with the same potential issues.  I'm vowing to do the 5-minute clean up each day before I leave, with the expectation that I will be able to set out my first period items before I leave.  Good habits need to be formed.  This is a must!

5) Make two loaves of bread each week. It's interesting what people won't eat, especially when they dislike one-pot meals that I favor.  I'm going to focus on the basics now - rice, beans, soups, breads, Crock-Pot meals and shopping lists and encourage those who complain to help with the planning.

6) Pay bills online and automatically. This is hard when you are living paycheck to paycheck, which I admit I am.  An auto pay works well - when you have money in the bank.  Unfortunately, my employer also had three separate times last school year where there was an issue with direct deposit, so I'm a bit reluctant to put the BIG items like the mortgage on auto pay.  But some of the others are on a credit card to be billed automatically, then I'll pay the card when the money is in.  Hopefully that will work.

7) Automatic savings transfers This one is partially in progress again.  I really want to have the little amounts each month for the annual expenses like scout camp or school field trips.  Five dollars per week isn't missed - but is very easy to spend if it's there...  Little by little, a little becomes a lot!

8) Slow down and smell the roses. This is easier said than done.  I think a part of me is addicted to staying busy, but I know that I need to slow down and pay attention to little things along the way.  Tell those around me what I appreciate about them and model that behavior for my kids.  Just gotta do this one...




9) Assault the piles of junk. The never-ending piles of stuff:  appliances, clothes, old school items, books, toys...  I don't feel I have enough 'big and generic' items for a tag sale, but I do have specialized items that should be posted on Ebay.  Even a small item might be of interest to someone who is searching for that last item for their collection.  I just need to start parting with my collections.  Slow and steady (and maybe it will pay for Christmas!)



10) Put away what you take out.  This also sounds goofy, but is hard for me.  I'm a sprawler.  I spread my stuff out on the table and work, not in piles, but in almost a fan-like array.  Then I stack.  I sort items in piles with the intention of filing them or recycling them or taking them to school to put away there (and then they find their way into yet another stack of papers with good intentions).  I will find a location for everything.  And then, put it in it's place.  I think that's why I really am in LOVE with my label maker (Brother PT1290).  With it, I have to commit to a location for an item, and train myself to put said item back to it's home.  Of course, I may need an intervention after I over label everything, but it's putting me on course to a path of organization.

We'll see what the future of the fall will bring.

Check out my other blog HERE where I try to document my journey to curb the chaos in my life both at work and a play.  Feel free to leave a comment or a suggestion, especially any ideas to help me tackle all my figurative dirty laundry (and the actually dirty laundry...)

Thanks -

A super hiatus...

So after a LOOOOONG hiatus from blogging, I have returned, with a newfound goal of streamlining my life in all of it's facets....

I'm going to focus this blog exclusively on my teaching as our school goes through some MAJOR curriculum and organizational changes.  I found myself in a 'funk' this past year, and honestly, I'm not sure if it was from personal reasons or professional reasons... but I am going to use this next school year to focus on my professional self and making some MAJOR changes to both my practice and my organizational methods.

Beginning Monday, I'll be able to use a prototype of my INTERACTIVE NOTEBOOK that I'm using this fall.  I'm using my 5-6 and 7-8 summer school students as guinea pigs for my experimen.  They have no idea what's in store for them... (insert evil laugh here).  I'm planning on posting some of what we complete on this blog, and then modify it for the school year.  We'll see how things go...

I hope to find some motivation and encouragement on this blog - coupled with what I hope is some profitable documents on TeachersPayTeachers.com  I have found a TON of useful resources on this site, from FOLDABLES to LESSON PLANS to COMMON CORE CHECKLISTS and I hope that I can share some of my own resources to the teaching population.

Finally, I will mention my own TEACHER ORGANIZATION methods.  I have been teaching for (gasp) 18 years and you might hope I know what I'm doing... but admittedly, I am always finding new and improved ways of doing things.  My most recent endeavor is the online lesson plan book.  There are definitely pros and cons to this.  This past year, based on my course load, I went back to the 'traditional' method, but I'm hoping to use the electronics to my advantage this year.  I also am super psyched about hyperlinks and PDFs as a method of using technology to save not only paper, but also communicate to parents and students alike.  However, training the kids and equal access continues to be a challenge.  Sometimes I wonder if 'traditional' paper and pencil should continue rather than the modern electronic education. 

Still, I would LOVE to podcast and vidcast and 'flip the classroom' but I know I can only bite off small chunks (I tend to take on LOTS and not always get the results I should...).  Picking a goal and taking the small steps to meet it will be my new endeavor.  And I hope to share it with you.

Perspective

Pausing on this Thanksgiving Weekend, I fell into some deep thought.

How grateful I am to be alive. 
Now, in the 21st Century.
Here, in America.
To be educated.
To be able to be independent.
To be healthy.
To be strong-willed and stubborn.
To be a provider.
To be quirky.
To be intelligent.
To be sarcastic.
To be myself.

I have watched countless documentaries, videos, History Channel specials, movies to remind myself of the horrors that humans can place on each other. 

What destruction Mother Nature can commit.
What illness and disease can do to a population.
What emotional turmoil can be created by one person's words.
What constant verbal abuse can do to a child.

Not that these things don't happen here, today, in our society - but I am thankful that we have some safeties in place to prevent and protect when they do.

Thank you America for my freedoms - for being a person, a woman, a parent, a teacher, and an independent thinker.  I appreciate those who came before me to pave the way for me to be me.

Now, how will I pave the way for the next generation...

Thank You Veterans

Thank you to all the Veterans who sacrificed time, family, safety, health and their lives so that ours may be free.   

God Bless America!

Blessings

My life is full of blessings, and I wish that those blessings would compensate for the stresses.
I'm going to work on documenting those blessings in these posts.

• I'm blessed with two enthusiastic and creative boys.  Even when one prefers to be holed up in his room designing a new CosPlay outfit and the other can quote the Disney Channel at the drop of a hat.  One of these days they won't want to snuggle with their mom... and they'll grow up, but I want them to always know how much they mean to me!
• I'm blessed with a boyfriend who is doing his best to provide for our family.  A little axe welding in the side yard has resulted in several cords of wood ready for the newly installed wood stove this winter.
• I'm blessed with parents who support me in all of my endeavors - including setting up and tearing down my craft booth this weekend and letting my kiddos hang out at 'the farm' rather than sit with me.
• I'm blessed with the ability to explain difficult math concepts to reluctant students.  Even when they don't want to listen... at all!
• I'm blessed with colleagues who give of themselves more than they get.  And often don't know how much they are appreciated.
• I'm blessed with a roof over my head that provides me a safe haven.  
• I'm blessed with good health - and should remind myself of that every day!

Yes, I'm blessed with many things - and need to focus on those to help get through those tough times.

Bourbon Orleans - Rest In Paws

It amazes me how I am mourning the loss of my dog.  I suppose I'm over-analyzing things, but having to make the decision to euthanize her was by far, the hardest choice I've had to make.

Her appetite got the best of her.  She was left on my sister's New Orleans' front porch, hooked up to Domino Dog's tether while my then-husband and 3 year old son were visiting.  Natalie said it was fate, that she was meant to be our dog since we 'found' her on our sixth anniversary.  Therefore, she, once I agreed, went on the quest to bring her to us.

Her arrival later that summer was coordinated with the airlines and gave Natalie an excuse to come home to visit.  Our older dog, Daisy, didn't quite know what to think of the new arrival.  Our cat had been killed by a car the previous fall and in my opinion, she enjoyed being an 'only pet'... but three-year-old Austin was ecstatic.  We named her "Bourbon Orleans" in honor of the city she was found in...and people who meet her thought she was a 'Katrina' Dog (or a Dixie Dog)... even though she wasn't.

Occasionally, my parents would take both Bourbon and Daisy to 'the Farm'.  Walks with my dad allowed her to experience new smells from the 'wilderness' of Petersham, even a run in with a bear during a walk.  Fortunately, the bear was at the end of the road and Bourbon was following the scent of a chipmunk and didn't even see the bear.  Not quite sure if she would have registered what it was - a big dog, maybe?  She did venture into my neighbor's horse pen one time.  It only took one hoof to the head for her to realize that a horse isn't something to mess with.  She also learned quickly after rolling in a turtle carcass... and being sprayed by a skunk.  Most animal mishaps only occured once.  

Her insatiable appetite was her demise.  I believe she was either a runt of her litter or underfed in her first six months, as she gobbled up any food she could find, even if it was out of someone's hand, the trash, or her sister's dinner.  She was stealthy, too.  Our younger son, Cameron, would have food in one hand, turn to the right, and Bourbon would sneak in on the left.  When I forgot my lunch on the counter, she helped herself to it while we were gone.  She artfully ate an entire plate of devilled eggs one Easter - we felt the wrath of those eggs the rest of the week as her digestive system reminded us of them...  I also think she enjoyed the Filet Mignon she stole from the counter, and rolled in on the dining room carpet.  She slept for two days after that feast.  I think that her girth was partly due to the fact that she would eat her food, then sneak upstairs to eat Daisy's food.  Daisy was wasting away and Bourbon was doubling in size.  Until we caught on to her act.  We dubbed her the 'Sausage Dog'.  However, years of damage had already been done.  Her liver failed, diabetes surged, and in the last two weeks, she lost seven pounds, wouldn't eat and was extremely lethargic.  Her addiction to food

I knew she wasn't herself, because the typically was the fierce barker.  In the past, she forced the mailman substitute to leave a note saying he wouldn't leave the mail unless the door was closed (the glass storm door didn't keep the fierce dog at bay).  She would let us know whenever someone was at the door or in the driveway.  We really didn't need a doorbell.  However, if you entered the house, she'd run the other way.  Guard dog - well, maybe not.  But as long as she was in the safety of her own yard or house, she let everyone know.  Including our neighborhood dogs as they paraded around the block. 

Older son Austin wanted to ensure that Bourbon had her 'Last Walk' around the block.  Felt a bit like the Green Mile...and certainly it was the farthest Bourbon had walked in the last two weeks.  But she made it, and I'm glad that Austin got to be a part of that.  They didn't come with me to the vet, and I'm glad that was the case.

I'm thankful for the time you spent with us Bourbon.  Please enjoy Heaven chasing Pogo Cat with Domino Dog and going on a walk with Grandpa Allen in his 'Rascal'.

Mother Nature's Wrath

Dramatic weather is hitting the world all over.  Tornadoes in Kansas and the first Tropical Storm of the season (two weeks early...), wildfire season has hit in Arizona and strong earthquakes in Italy that took out old brick buildings as well as new steel factories.  According to the news, thankfully, only four deaths have been reported in ALL of these... though I'm sure the fatalities will increase in the Earthquake affected area.  Of course, this is giving me pause to be thankful of where I am, and also to gather my supplies for the crazy summer season... 

The snowfall of the 2010-2011 winter was record-breaking and the crazy storm of last Halloween certainly caught us off guard so you would think that I've gotten all my ducks in a row and am ready for the carnage Mother Nature will throw our way, but alas...I'm behind the eight ball.

Though it's summer, I am working on getting a wood-burning fireplace insert and the eco-biobricks (paper & wood pulp smashed into a cylindrical shape) ready for fall and prepping the garden soil for the tomatoes and all.  I hope to expand the canning to strawberry jelly and more pickled veggies... hopefully to even get the pressure cooker going for chili and stews.  We'll see how things go and if I can get the items ready before the power goes out or the tornado touches down or the snow falls...

STEM is the wave of the future!

STEM, or Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics, is the future.  As I always laugh about, the geeks of the world will take over the world...and they certainly are!  How can we excite kids about science and technology?  How can we spark that enthusiasm and curiosity for learning?

Hands on methods and connecting to student's real life work.  The Boy Scouts STEM-NOVA project seems to be doing that by connecting Merit Badges and Technology and Career Expos for their ranks.  I'm very curious to check out these Expos, especially since they're not too far from my house.  I also am constantly looking for outlets for my own older scout, who's not the 'sportsy' or 'outdoorsy' guy, but is coming into his own - as he's finding things he connects to... he's constantly surprising me, and himself!

Stress

I am quite overwhelmed and need a stress release.

I get a hug and a kiss from my kiddo and that makes me soooooo happy.

I realize that work and it's related items are exhausting, but it's so nice to be appreciated.

Now...I have to get back to my piles of goodies...(ie: papers)

Attitude of Gratitude

It's Spring time that brings bears out of their dens and gives me yet another time during the year to reflect on all that is good in my life.

I continue to be thankful for the people in my life.  Not just happy, but truly THANKFUL!

The kids still 'forget' to flush the toilet, but I'm thankful they're healthy and not in diapers or on dialysis...or worse.

My home may be messy, but I'm thankful I HAVE a home to live in (it's the 'lived-in look' anyway).

The 'Grandma Dog' Daisy (age 16!) barks incessantly at all hours, but I'm thankful she's still alive.

My job is stressful, but I'm thankful I HAVE a job!

My communication skills may need work, but I'm thankful I still have a voice (though some people would question that...).

My hair is graying and my knees crack, but I still have my health (though I wonder at times...).

My house is full of laughter and tears, lots of little feet (both human and canine) and a few broken items - but I'll take it any day of the week!!!

But vs. And

In my new venture to improve my communication skills, I have discovered the book Tongue Fu at School by Sam Horn.  I'm only 4 chapters in and it has struck me as very user-friendly and I have already applied several of the tips in only a few days.  I hope to add some of my own comments to each of the strategies, and how I have used them as both a teacher and a mom.

The first chapter is simply to avoid argumentative words - simply to avoid canceling what has been said.  This is primarily by eliminating the word BUT any conversation and replace it with AND.  'And' both acknowledges someones comments or situation and advances the conversation.  'But' contradicts anything that was initially said and stops the conversation.  I have found myself running into this situation several times, trying to avoid excuses for either a behavior or an event and having the student focus on their accountability.

I'm looking forward to reading (and blogging about) the rest of the book, and applying it to not only my own job and family, but also extending it as life lessons for both my students and my kiddos.

Don't be a jerk!

Here's to a new venture:  Jerky!


'Borrowed' this from another blog - so I won't take credit myself, but certainly looking forward to tackling this venture!

Beef jerky an excellent snack, its a great way to preserve meat and also get your essential proteins. The problem that we face today is that beef jerky sold in the supermarkets is generally expensive and packed full of unhealthy additives and preservatives. How do you avoid this? The answer is simple, homemade beef jerky! Making jerky at home is much cheaper and eliminates any unnecessary preservatives from the pictures. If you're a 'do it yourself' type of person with some extra time, my homemade beef jerky recipes are sure to please!

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Cuts of Meat -

Many people will tell you that only certain cuts of beef should be used to make jerky. I say bah! Any cut of meat can be used when making jerky, but cuts such as the eye round, sirloin, flank and rump will be much easier to prepare. Other cuts will take a little more effort from you, as you'll have to cut out the fat so that your beef jerky doesn't become hard to chew. It really depends on how much time you want to spend.

Preparing the Meat -

Once you've found the right cut of meat, you'll want to start off by placing it in the freezer for a couple of hours. The meat shouldn't be frozen all the way through as you're just looking to firm it up to make slicing it easier. Once your meat has firmed in the freezer, using a sharp knife, cut with the grain into 1/4 inch thick slices. Now that you're meat is cut, you'll want to choose a marinade. I've included four of my favorite beef jerky marinade recipes below.

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Homemade Beef Jerky Marinade Recipes -

All four of these Beef Jerky marinades are very easy to make and will properly marinate 4-5 pounds of jerky meat.

Hot and Sour Beef Jerky Marinade:

1/2 Cup Red Wine Vinegar
1/2 Cup Pineapple Juice
2 Tablespoon Soy Sauce
2 Cloves Garlic (crushed, or 2tsp Powder)
1/2 Onion (finely chopped or 1Tblsp Powder)
1/4 Cup Brown Sugar
2 Tablespoons Red Pepper Flakes
1 Tablespoon Black Pepper

Carne Asada Beef Jerky Marinade:

1/2 Cup Red Wine Vinegar
Juice from an Orange
Juice from a Lime
2 Cloves Garlic (crushed)
1/2 Onion (finely chopped)
2 Teaspoons Chili Powder
2 Teaspoons Cumin
2 Teaspoons Oregano
2 Teaspoons Salt
Handful of Fresh Cilantro

Teriyaki Beef Jerky Marinade Recipe:

1 Cup Low Sodium Soy Sauce
Juice from one Orange
1 Cup Brown Sugar
2 Cloves Garlic (crushed, or 2tsp Garlic Powder)
1/2 Onion (finely chopped or 2tsp Onion Powder)
1 Tablespoon Grated Ginger (2tsp Ginger Powder)
1 Tablespoon Red Pepper Flakes
1 Tablespoon Honey
1/2 Teaspoon Salt

Simply Pepper Beef Jerky Marinade:

1/2 Cup Worcestershire Sauce
1/2 Cup Red Wine
1 Tablespoon Salt
2 Tablespoons Mixed Peppercorns
1 Tablespoon Red Pepper Flakes

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Marinating the Meat -

For all the marinades above, start off by combining all ingredients into a large freezer bag and mix well. Once mixed, add your strips of meat, seal and then let it rest in your refrigerator for 12-48 hours. The longer you let it sit, the more intense the flavor.

Cooking/Drying Your Jerky -

When it comes time to cook/dry your beef jerky, there are many different techniques that can be used. I'll take you through the process of oven drying, but smokers and dehydrators are also viable options.

Oven Drying Beef Jerky:

Start off by turning your oven to the lowest setting. 150F is about normal for most ovens.
Place the jerky strips onto baking racks or something that will allow for air flow beneath and around the slices of meat. Be sure to shake off any excess marinade. Do not place onto baking sheets as these do not provide the proper ventilation and will hold in moisture. Personally, I use a pizza pan that has a bunch of little holes in the bottom.

Move the baking trays into the oven. It's important to crack the oven door open using a knife or wooden spoon so that new air is constantly being sucked in. This will greatly improve the time it takes to dry your jerky.

It will take about 4-6 hours for your beef jerky to be ready to eat. Flip the jerky about once every hour to make sure that it is drying consistently. In the last couple hours, monitor your jerky until the desired dryness.  Some people like their jerky with more moisture for a softer texture while others like myself like a drier Jerky for the nice chewiness. Just dry it to your preference.

The last step to do is cool and store. For beef jerky with a higher moisture content, seal in bags and store in the refrigerator. Jerky that has had the majority of water content removed will be able to store in a cool dark place in an airtight container. The fresh jerky will last for three weeks, if you don't eat it all by then! If you need it for longer, jerky will stay good for around a year if you store it in the freezer.

Legos are made for creativity!

Can you identify these cartoon characters? Can't claim this as my own... but it was flying around the internet recently and caught my attention. Sadly, my 8 year old got the same ones I did - VERY QUICKLY!!! - but there are two that escaped us. What does that say about our cartoon knowledge? Hmmmmm

What's the word, hummingbird?

It's such fun to motivate children in the early morning on the day of state testing. Sad to see my younger son STRESSED OUT about his 3rd grade testing. As a teacher, I understand getting the kids to take it seriously, but as a mom, I don't like the way that kids can internalize things like this.

He's worried. And that worries me.

But now he's asking if my childhood dog was reincarnated into our family dog... so something tells me that he's moving on...

A Cleansing Dip in the Connecticut!

Kicking off our school's Pi Day Canned Food Drive at the 3rd Annual Leprechaun Plunge. Next year I need to remember to recruit more kiddos to join me AND to coordinate with the chairwoman of the food bank (who saw my costume and wanted us to join their team in line, but my students declined...I think they were nervous!). But still - what a riot! The plungers raised more than $76,000 for the six different charities! Great day for a dip and topped it off with Corned Beef & Cabbage for dinner. Yummy!

Leprechaun Plunge for Food Bank

Silly Me

I'm organizing my posts with labels and realizing that the majority of them are talking about WEATHER! So what does that say about me? Am I being ambiguous? Am I generic? Am I BORING? Or am I still not taking the plunge to put my life out on the world-wide-web for all to see?

I guess I should find a topic and stick to it - not simply the stream of consciousness that I've been doing. But I always have through of myself as NOT a One-Trick Pony... a Jill-of-all-trades (complements of my mom's multi-tasking efforts growing up)... so I'm not sure if I will be able to focus one just one or two things.

I have a wide range of interests, and I don't feel like I'm 'GREAT' at anything - just 'GOOD' at lots... we'll see how it goes.

The Thrill of Action-Packed Escape-ism...

So I'm intrigued by the storytelling of Dan Brown's novels, Michael Crichton's science trillers and the myriad of alphabet soup on television like CSI, NCIS and FBI dramas. Does that mean I enjoy escaping from my own life? Or am I dreaming of a different line of work?

Not that I necessarily want to globe-trot and shoot the bad guys, but I thoroughly enjoy the 60 minutes of escaping from the hum-drum life with some heart pounding drama. Though I'm not huge on movies like the Bourne Trilogy or Mission Impossible (maybe they're too long), I have gotten hooked on tons of shows available online and on-demand. Maybe it's a way for me to experience the excitement while at the same time still being safe in my own home (risk taking maybe, without the risk). So what does that say about me?

I also love the new shows Grimm and Once Upon a Time. which are products, I believe, of some of the writers of one of my favorites shows, LOST. I love the way they weave the backstories and have a timeline that isn't necessarily linear. It's always engaging and you have to stay on your toes.

Of course, it's also nice to be able to watch a serial drama, like Law and Order, where there aren't really story arcs that continue past the 42 minute episode (isn't it nice when things wrap up in a nice little bow at the closing credits?). I know that real life isn't like that (and the crime lab doesn't solve a murder during one shift) but it's still entertaining to watch the bad guys get their due. And I can stomach the (fake) blood and guts!

So bring on the shows - always fascinating and always engaging...especially when they come up with something new and don't recycle or reboot an old idea!