Frustrations and Supports

While a navy brat, my family moved approximately every 4-6 years.  I constantly was forced to make new friends, reinvent myself, and rely on my family and myself for support.  It was natural, but also in a way, stifling.  I find friendships on the surface, but don't have any deep relationships with people that I can truly confide in.  Family is where can speak my mind, and be accepted without dissent.  My mom would listen to me vent, cry, brag, and not give her opinion.  She would just listen.

As I get older, I have noticed that my personal development is quite different than others.  What I considered 'normal' in family structures, responsibilities, celebrations, and the like is actually on the fringes of society.  So I suppose that means that I am also on the fringe.  And as a teacher, that is becoming truly difficult to navigate, coach, and mentor young people.  I don't listen the way I should.

I am in a career where I do make a difference.  To a lot of people.  But it's also exhausting to attempt to mentor an adolescent age group, when they are constantly pushing back.  It's also frustrating when their parents push back.  And when your own family pushes back.  And you feel like no one is supporting you as you fall.

And I feel like I am falling a lot.  But putting on a good front.  I hope I can keep it all together.  And continue to be a good mother, good teacher, good partner, good friend.  Even if I suck at housework and financial management (though I'm working on it).  But keeping it all together is exhausting.

I am thankful that I have a mom who can listen to my vents.  But I also don't always want to burden her with my mistakes.  I want her to be proud of me.  Of the mom I have become, and I hope I can be half the mom she is!

Happy Mother's Day!

Cross Pollinating

Of course, sometimes my worlds collide and I find that my personal comments make their way into the public domain.  This is the case with my other blog, Stefani's Hopeful Chaos, where I try to reign in the swarming chaos that is my life.

Check out the Top 5 things I'll do for my garden next year... and hold me to it!

Fall Check-In: My To-Do List 2.0

In the blog-o-sphere, there are some things that I want to be anonymous and others where a swift kick in the hiney is needed for accountability.  Looks like this is the latter.

Originally, I posted a February Vacation-week to-do list.  I needed a jump start, a reboot, a refresher on my life.  I figured, I could make a to-do list, get some things done, and feel accomplished, especially since I wasn't going anywhere for the vacation other than some local trips with the kids.  I posted it, revisited it after the week was over... and it flew off into internet space...

Well, time has passed, and some of these original items are still pending... so it looks like I'll tackle the To-Do List 2.0

1) Credit cards will be paid off monthly. Yipes - still the #1 on the list.  I really want to get on the envelope system before 2013 is done... Dave Ramsey's Envelope System is something that I have wanted to do for years, but have never quite gotten around to it... There has to be a way of doing it as well as online banking... I just need to figure out how!

2) Finish the Fireplace Mantle and Stairwell.  Got the stairwell painted the last week of June, but have yet to put on the railing, fix the last three stairs, or finish the fireplace surround.  Would like to get all that done before the holidays.  Might have to bite the bullet and hire someone...

3) Train my kids to clean up after themselves. Still.a.work.in.progress...for ALL the kids.

4) Extend this new mantra to my classroom. New school year, with the same potential issues.  I'm vowing to do the 5-minute clean up each day before I leave, with the expectation that I will be able to set out my first period items before I leave.  Good habits need to be formed.  This is a must!

5) Make two loaves of bread each week. It's interesting what people won't eat, especially when they dislike one-pot meals that I favor.  I'm going to focus on the basics now - rice, beans, soups, breads, Crock-Pot meals and shopping lists and encourage those who complain to help with the planning.

6) Pay bills online and automatically. This is hard when you are living paycheck to paycheck, which I admit I am.  An auto pay works well - when you have money in the bank.  Unfortunately, my employer also had three separate times last school year where there was an issue with direct deposit, so I'm a bit reluctant to put the BIG items like the mortgage on auto pay.  But some of the others are on a credit card to be billed automatically, then I'll pay the card when the money is in.  Hopefully that will work.

7) Automatic savings transfers This one is partially in progress again.  I really want to have the little amounts each month for the annual expenses like scout camp or school field trips.  Five dollars per week isn't missed - but is very easy to spend if it's there...  Little by little, a little becomes a lot!

8) Slow down and smell the roses. This is easier said than done.  I think a part of me is addicted to staying busy, but I know that I need to slow down and pay attention to little things along the way.  Tell those around me what I appreciate about them and model that behavior for my kids.  Just gotta do this one...




9) Assault the piles of junk. The never-ending piles of stuff:  appliances, clothes, old school items, books, toys...  I don't feel I have enough 'big and generic' items for a tag sale, but I do have specialized items that should be posted on Ebay.  Even a small item might be of interest to someone who is searching for that last item for their collection.  I just need to start parting with my collections.  Slow and steady (and maybe it will pay for Christmas!)



10) Put away what you take out.  This also sounds goofy, but is hard for me.  I'm a sprawler.  I spread my stuff out on the table and work, not in piles, but in almost a fan-like array.  Then I stack.  I sort items in piles with the intention of filing them or recycling them or taking them to school to put away there (and then they find their way into yet another stack of papers with good intentions).  I will find a location for everything.  And then, put it in it's place.  I think that's why I really am in LOVE with my label maker (Brother PT1290).  With it, I have to commit to a location for an item, and train myself to put said item back to it's home.  Of course, I may need an intervention after I over label everything, but it's putting me on course to a path of organization.

We'll see what the future of the fall will bring.

Check out my other blog HERE where I try to document my journey to curb the chaos in my life both at work and a play.  Feel free to leave a comment or a suggestion, especially any ideas to help me tackle all my figurative dirty laundry (and the actually dirty laundry...)

Thanks -

A super hiatus...

So after a LOOOOONG hiatus from blogging, I have returned, with a newfound goal of streamlining my life in all of it's facets....

I'm going to focus this blog exclusively on my teaching as our school goes through some MAJOR curriculum and organizational changes.  I found myself in a 'funk' this past year, and honestly, I'm not sure if it was from personal reasons or professional reasons... but I am going to use this next school year to focus on my professional self and making some MAJOR changes to both my practice and my organizational methods.

Beginning Monday, I'll be able to use a prototype of my INTERACTIVE NOTEBOOK that I'm using this fall.  I'm using my 5-6 and 7-8 summer school students as guinea pigs for my experimen.  They have no idea what's in store for them... (insert evil laugh here).  I'm planning on posting some of what we complete on this blog, and then modify it for the school year.  We'll see how things go...

I hope to find some motivation and encouragement on this blog - coupled with what I hope is some profitable documents on TeachersPayTeachers.com  I have found a TON of useful resources on this site, from FOLDABLES to LESSON PLANS to COMMON CORE CHECKLISTS and I hope that I can share some of my own resources to the teaching population.

Finally, I will mention my own TEACHER ORGANIZATION methods.  I have been teaching for (gasp) 18 years and you might hope I know what I'm doing... but admittedly, I am always finding new and improved ways of doing things.  My most recent endeavor is the online lesson plan book.  There are definitely pros and cons to this.  This past year, based on my course load, I went back to the 'traditional' method, but I'm hoping to use the electronics to my advantage this year.  I also am super psyched about hyperlinks and PDFs as a method of using technology to save not only paper, but also communicate to parents and students alike.  However, training the kids and equal access continues to be a challenge.  Sometimes I wonder if 'traditional' paper and pencil should continue rather than the modern electronic education. 

Still, I would LOVE to podcast and vidcast and 'flip the classroom' but I know I can only bite off small chunks (I tend to take on LOTS and not always get the results I should...).  Picking a goal and taking the small steps to meet it will be my new endeavor.  And I hope to share it with you.

Perspective

Pausing on this Thanksgiving Weekend, I fell into some deep thought.

How grateful I am to be alive. 
Now, in the 21st Century.
Here, in America.
To be educated.
To be able to be independent.
To be healthy.
To be strong-willed and stubborn.
To be a provider.
To be quirky.
To be intelligent.
To be sarcastic.
To be myself.

I have watched countless documentaries, videos, History Channel specials, movies to remind myself of the horrors that humans can place on each other. 

What destruction Mother Nature can commit.
What illness and disease can do to a population.
What emotional turmoil can be created by one person's words.
What constant verbal abuse can do to a child.

Not that these things don't happen here, today, in our society - but I am thankful that we have some safeties in place to prevent and protect when they do.

Thank you America for my freedoms - for being a person, a woman, a parent, a teacher, and an independent thinker.  I appreciate those who came before me to pave the way for me to be me.

Now, how will I pave the way for the next generation...

Thank You Veterans

Thank you to all the Veterans who sacrificed time, family, safety, health and their lives so that ours may be free.   

God Bless America!

Blessings

My life is full of blessings, and I wish that those blessings would compensate for the stresses.
I'm going to work on documenting those blessings in these posts.

• I'm blessed with two enthusiastic and creative boys.  Even when one prefers to be holed up in his room designing a new CosPlay outfit and the other can quote the Disney Channel at the drop of a hat.  One of these days they won't want to snuggle with their mom... and they'll grow up, but I want them to always know how much they mean to me!
• I'm blessed with a boyfriend who is doing his best to provide for our family.  A little axe welding in the side yard has resulted in several cords of wood ready for the newly installed wood stove this winter.
• I'm blessed with parents who support me in all of my endeavors - including setting up and tearing down my craft booth this weekend and letting my kiddos hang out at 'the farm' rather than sit with me.
• I'm blessed with the ability to explain difficult math concepts to reluctant students.  Even when they don't want to listen... at all!
• I'm blessed with colleagues who give of themselves more than they get.  And often don't know how much they are appreciated.
• I'm blessed with a roof over my head that provides me a safe haven.  
• I'm blessed with good health - and should remind myself of that every day!

Yes, I'm blessed with many things - and need to focus on those to help get through those tough times.